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Wife material ; how many yards?

Earlier on this year,I found that one of my friends had just moved to somewhere close to me so my
cousin and I decided to go and chill there. I was very excited because it was a new place to go
to faf about, play video games and drink red wine. The first thing that hit me when I stepped into the flat
was the mess. There were clothes strewn everywhere, empty soda cans in the hallway and the plates in the sink were so dirty, the food
remnants had caked. While I tried really hard not to judge him for being a little pig, my cousin who
had the self-control of a four year old burst out on our way home; “Ahn ahn! But junior has a
girlfriend na! Why was that place so dirty like that? Doesn’t she go there every time?” I thought about it long and hard. It was a tricky one;
one minute you’re being all “domestic” cleaning his flat, washing plates because you just can’t stand dirty places and the next minute you’re being tagged as “Playing Wifey”. I completely forgot
about that situation until last week
when one of the guys in my neighborhood  exclaimed “When
girls say they don’t want anything SERIOUS don’t believe them oh!”. He went on to to lament about
how one babe was “slowly worming her way into my house, bringing bath mat because she doesn’t want me to slip and last week it was mop
and mop bucket! Abeg I don’t want”

I was shocked! How do you know she’s not just being caring? she doesn’t want you to fall and hit
your knuckle head on the bath. Duh! My friend Isi is one of the sweetest people on earth. If
she meets you today, she’d be looking for ways to help you and shower you with as much love as
possible whether you’re a boy or a girl.

A lot of people say women don’t know what they want but sometimes men confuse me! You don’t carry their plate to the kitchen, it means you’re not a “wife material”. You don’t make stew when you come on holiday from jand “You’re not caring”. You bring wine glasses because you’re tired of drinking out of cheap plastic cups “you’re trying to invade my space”. You’re arranging the house because honestly you can’t stand the mess, it is automatically translated to “you’re trying to make yourself too comfortable”

Honestly I’m confused. How many “yards” of wife material” is one supposed to possess that will fit just right?

On the other hand there are some
women who really see it as all part of being a strategy. For some of them it pays off, but in other cases you hear sob stories of “After I
washed his brother’s boxers he went and married that Jennifer”.

Signed

Gaby

English names For Naija Dishes.

When i stumbled on some of these names few days ago, l had to look for others. All na packaging sha. So here are english names of naija dishes/ snacks.                              

1. Kuli kuli – Peanut bars
2. Donkuwa/ Robo Alata – Hot Charcolit nuts
3. Kilichi – Beef Crackers
4. Dundun/fried yam – Yamarita
5. Fried Potato – Potarita
6. Pako (Chewing stick) – Dental Sticks
7. Boli – Barbecue Plantain
8. Roasted corn – Corn Aflame
9. Eko/Agidi – Corn Jellos
10. Moin moin – Bean pie
11. Isi ewu – Goat-hedo lickins’
12. Garri – Grain o’ fibres
13. Bokoto/ Nkwobi – Hoof salad
14. Ogi/Akamu – Corn Caramel
15. Kpof kpof – Energy Buns
16. Chin chin – Dough Rocks
17. Zobo – Juice Rosa Afrik
18. Kunnu – Grain Alive
19. Bread and Akara – Bean cake Burger
20. Ofada rice – Unpolished Rice for
Vegetarians
21. Adalu(corn & beans) – Lentils & Grain
Salad
22. Ifokore (yam porrige) – Continental Yam
Casserole
23. Agbalumo – Wild Robust Cherry.
Now you know, knowledge is power. Thank me later.

Tags;FMB,nana kings,gaby

twitter handle ;@dahliadona

Most Embarrassing Moments.

My most embarassing moment makes me laugh so hard when i remember it now.l went to the market o..na im wan craze man way dey awaz dance to music begin chase me around until some peeps came to my rescue. l had to stop shopping and cried throughout that day. So i decided to ask friends about theirs and here's what l got. Enjoy.

I remember wearing this six inch heels to church, it was my first time wearing shoes that high and still instead of me to respect myself and walk gently I was making yanga in front of the SUG lodge in my school. And that was how I fell yakata...worse is I couldn't get up cos my legs hurt badly..just wished the ground could swallow me - Favourmoyse

My own be say ...I da church o and i'm usually very emotional during worship time..with my eyes closed, na so I begin draw water for eyes brubru as I worshipped. Oya na worship has ended and it was time to open eyes...na so wahala start.The hair bonding glue way I take fix my fake lashes don cement my eyes I no fit come open am. worse is the glue has entered my eyes and hurts terribly. come see cinema.. proper cry started o..couldn't walk to the bathroom cos how I wan take see road,couldn't beckon to anyone that will be another crisis...na so I bend down begin da use force remove the lashes one by one..chai- Candy

My friend confidently came to me asking that she's going on a date n the guy already told her they were going to have waffles n ice cream. she wanted to know if she was meant to eat the waffles with her hands or cutlery. Not knowing at that time and have never seen waffles I told her to use fork and knife and the poor gal did. When she came back she jumped on me and pinched the hell out of me. The guy still call her waffles till date.- Victoria

In class I messed during lectures. Everybody was getting up to leave the place and when I wanted to leave too,one guy said, abeg siddon dere oo.No carry that smell come this side.Jeeeeeeezzz.I nearly perme.- Stanley.

So there was this time shit catch me for lab for sch after I chop one kind beans for buka.Mehn, when I was running to offload ,it was so obvious to everybody I was under fire. There was this time I had to pause while running coz e be don almost happen-Jeff

let's hear yours.

Follow us on twitter @dahliadona. we go follow back sharp sharp..

Next time you go spy my journal ...

signed

Gaby...

Passwords!!! should it be shared in a relationship.

A Michigan man was sued by his ex- wife after he read her e-mails and learned of her extra- marital affairs with her ( allegedly abusive) ex- husband. Got that? The prosecution argued that he hacked into her e-mail, he claimed that he uses the computer all the time and that she kept her passwords in a little book next to the computer. Simple click-clack of the keys and he was in.

Harmless, right? I'm not sure. I don't care if the king/Queen wants my passwords. I also feel like he shoudn't have to ask. As they say, if you go looking for trouble, you are bound to find it. In my opinion you shoudn't need my passwords because there shouldn't be anything you need to verify.  You should be able to ask me a question and expect that I will answer you honestly.  If you don't trust my response then in my opinion that is the real issue.

Some people say your wife/husband or family should know your password so they can access your account incase of untimely death, to which my response is "like HELL they do". If I've passed away, I can think of absolutely no good that will come from you having access to my various accounts. Infact, if I unexpectedtedly pass away, just throw my laptop in the deepest part of the pacific ocean.

So what are your thoughts? Do you have access to your significant other's social media accounts? Do they have access to yours? Why or why not? Does not providing your password automatically mean you're hiding something?

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Arguments ; is it a natural part of relationship?

Can you genuinely remove argument from a relationship or do you believe its a natural part of a healthy relationship? What happens if you find arguing detrimental but your partner doesn't?  what's the difference between an argument and a debate?

I've been in relationships were we never argued and l've been in relationships were we argued all the time. However, neither relationship was relatively better than the other. Sometimes the relationship I was in were we never argued might have benefited from us putting facts on the table even though it made us uncomfortable.
Conversely, in the relationship were we always argued,there were times when we would make petty arguments into grand stand,because we were trying to gain ground based on an important argument we lost days,weeks and sometimes months.

At times, we were immature and petty, but there were few times where we held back our feelings. obviously a balance is best, but biting your tongue to maintain peace is often no better than getting everything out of your system in the present in order to have peace in the future.

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Is being faithful hard?

Its typical for most of us to talk about relationship issues but i've come to realize that no single relationship topic is groundbreaking but there are stuffs we think about and don't like to discuss because the conversation is usually uncomfortable. One of these question is - is being faithful hard?

Have you asked your partner if they've always been faithful or their thoughts on cheating? For clarity l'm not only talking about physical encounters as most people will think. However, most infidelities don't leap to the physical point. So what about all those missteps you took on your way there.

What about all those indiscretion you ignored,overlooked, or somehow excused until the inevitable? You know the type: the extra Dm on twitter,the inappropriate 'Like' on a facebook picture you had no business viewing in the first place, or the "hey,how have you been?" message to an ex even though you are in a new relationship.Then there is reality; the extra flirtatious laugh,touch or suggestion you give or overlook from a person of interest.

You know your respective statuses so instead you entice each other playfully at first until that invisible line between flirtatiously innocent suggestions and outright deceitful actions blurs beyond recognitionn What then?

When I posed the question to my friends, most of them responded that being faithful is easy.  This is an interesting theory. So are those who are faithful relatively stronger than those who are not? If yes, what makes them so strong? Is it a strong moral resolve? code? ethics? or is once a cheated always a cheated true? I think it is important to identify the true cause in order to successfully address the issue rather than make blanket and dismissive statement.

Further,it may help to determine is it harder to be faithful than it is to cheat? Do men or women have it harder or easier? Is cheating more about avoiding situations that can lead to infidelity or having the strength to resist all opportunities real or imagined?

Love Me Jeje,Love Me Tender

No longer ease!!! Asuu which way? Albeit, the strike continues and  am having fun with social networks which, by the way l'm addicted to.

While shopping within the week l  kinda ducked into the ladies in a bid to avoid someone; unfortunately I eavesdropped into another cupcake's conversation. She was asking her friend what should be the ideal gift from her finance to her on the big day and I impulsively blurted 2013 Rolls- Royce Ghost by Vorsteiner#gasps#.
The ladies demanded to know why*oops * so I said

1. I will so love his mum she will know JESUS is real. I will visit her once a week whether she leaves near or far, if she ask me to go a yard I will take a mile,if she asks me to jump I will ask how far,she will be my Godmother,role model and prayer partner.

2. Because I am princess# cos my father is the king of kings#; you see  I'm meant to ride a carriage and walk on red carpet with my entourage but am willing to give all these away just for a little price - the car.

3. He is my Tomato - Jos... You see very soon am gonna be doing the wifey job and since dere's no specific salary for that job. I decided to use this as a start up capital for the job.

4. Finally because he loves JESUS; Yes he that giveth to the poor lendeth to the lord, and God loves a cheerful giver. So when I get my Rolls- Royce, the lord God will reward him a thousand fold.
After giving these reasons to the ladies I fled...just as I'm doing now....xoxo

Signed

Gaby

The Porter's Soup

While wishing Naija happy birthday tomorrow don't forget to do thesame for Asuu.

Three months into the strike and I can't help but reminisce on the ups and downs of living in the hostel. While the hostel life could be fun 98% of its occupants will tell you the toilets and bathrooms is always a pigsty. Lord have mercy if your soap or sponge falls while having your bath,don't bother picking it up except of course you are a pig; to avoid urinary tract infection every girl has her own little bucket where she answers the call of nature.

So it was a huge relief when a new female hostel was built though expensive than the former but more comfortable. It was more like a self con except that each wing had a general kitchen, still that's fair treatment. 

Unfortunately, the hostel had a glitch. It shared its boundary with a farmland owned by a very nosy female porter whom also stays there. Instead of my colleagues to use the toilets in their rooms they would use a nylon and fling it over the fence into the farmland.

On this fateful thursday morning, everyone was summoned by the hall governor for an impromptu meeting and alas here was our nosy porter crying, cursing and promising fire and brimstone upon God knows who. She was cooking a pot of soup for the family when an uninvited guest landed inside her food.#yea,surprised huh? # Miss somebody had done the usual and kinda miss her mark hence the s**t inside the soup.

It was a very hilarious moment but miss somebody might have denied that family breakfast or worse. That day will ever remain fresh in my memory and even now, I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts. Till next week when I'll give you more juicy tales. Don't miss me much.

Signed

Gaby