Gaby's Journal.

Story story!!!!

Once upon a time! Time time!!!

So my name is Gaby short form of gabrielle which means the lord is my strength, no wonder l’m tomboyish,in my late teens and not exactly lady-like, fiercely independent with a gross sense of humor. I plan to entertain you with the boring moments of my life. Shocked? You don’t have to be.

Welcome to a new week, and as usual guess we all went to church. My family and I attend one of the numerous mainline churches. Anyway two events happened in church yesterday that left me dazed .

A family friend invited me for her brother’s thanksgiving; the dude just got married. Since am a great friend *tongue out smiley*I decided to honour the invitation and be there for her. So it was nollywood to me when I started noticing some manifestation. First, testimony time is fun time for several reasons: the phonetics conscious people that end up embarrassing themselves and the listeners, then others ( typically women) will ask you to shout seven hot halleluyah while she responds by rolling on the floor plus those that sing special number before the actual testimony. So yesterday this lady asked everyone to stand up, and repeat some words after her then we were asked to run round the church, I mean inside while shouting FOURTEEN hot hallleluyah (hehehehehe). While we were still panting and yet to recover our burnt calories from the early morning exercise, another testifier came and said he fell down while trying to kill a cockroach at nite. Apparently, it means the nocturnal insect was sent by enemies and unfortunately met its demise. Uhmmm…. Like pastor Bankie will say cockroach na cockroach, be its man or animal in that form na insecticide go kill am.  

Just when I thought the drama for the day was over, then came the time for the word and suddenly this woman from nowhere appeared behind me and started chewing gum *arrrrrrggghhh* the continous sound of ta-ta, ki-ki filled the air and I wondered why people could be so disrespectful. Like seriously, they can’t even try that in the presence of a dignitary. To add insult to injury she add an accomplice but this one was chewing bitter kola. Jeez her mouth movement was funny, maybe everyone wasn’t that uncomfortable but that was the end of service for me cos I couldn’t listen to the pastor.

I did enjoy the praise that’s because I love to dance and the pastor knows the word. I still replay yesterday’s incident over and over again.

On a serious note, I think when saying testimony simply cut to the chase we don’t wanna know how you bought something and returned the balance, and please stop the drama. However, there is nothing like effective communication. You don’t have to impress anyone just be you, if you can’t speak English, try pidgin or revert to your local language. Also note that everyone wants to be respected both those that deserve it or not.  So let’s learn to be of proper decorum in God’s presence. Even though he is all accommodating biko… no calls, gum chewing, walking about, side talks. He is God, its not about knowing it, sometimes you have to show it. Don’t miss me too much. 

Signed

Gaby