How to become celebrity in Nigeria
Original article on NSG but I've done plenty modification plus I felt the writer sense of humour is not as dope as mine( eyes rolling).
Do you truly desire to be the cynosure of the Nigeria media without much hassles and stress? If your answer is yes, then this is for you...
1.Wear cheap shoes, very cheap designer knockoffs.. And let it be all over instagram. Not the kinda shoes that GLOWY puts up on her blog though.
2. Date a popular musician, claim him on social media, break up with him and release a single.
3. Call out another celebrity and tag BMF.. She will carry the news trust me.
4. Fake your Death.
Lie down in the comfort of your home after taking orijin mixed with a fried rice and beans combo, get a friend to take a death fie of you then
get another stupid friend to post on his social media accounts cos obviously Mr skiibi sorry (dimwit) you are dead and can't do it. Just make sure you don’t come back from the land of the dead wearing only one pair of jeans always.
5. Donate your virginity.
I don’t know if virginity is an amount in a bank account that you can donate, but if you have your virginity please donate it freely and don’t care if the men you want to donate it to are boko haram members who’ve been sex starved or uncircumcised. In fact sell it to the highest bidder.
6. Dress Tacky .
I dont care how top notch your dress sense is but if you want to become a celeb in Nigeria, you need to dress tacky and call yourself the fashion icon. Either you wear a green suit, red trousers and a yellow shoe like you fell of a rainbow(pls don’t let KCEE see this) or you do a hairstyle that seems like you planted two taribo west’s head on your head. For the ladies make sure your hair is looking like it was weaved by Aso oke experts and if you must wear bumshort then go have a baby bump
7. Be a Baby Mama
Follow these musicians bumper to bumper. From star trek to glo lafta fest to MTN invasion. Stalk them on social media. Retweet their tweet and DM them. Just make sure you get pregnant and when you do, open a blog and chronicle your life there. We would be sure to read.
Post your nude pics all over the internet. Make sure everyone sees it. Then get into war with anyone that dare cuss you out. Give your life to Christ 6 months later and turn an evangelist.
9. Make a sex tape. Ask Kim Kardashian for tips and make sure you have a momager like Kris.
10. Show off
Display fake or borrowed jewelry and wrist watches . Showing off cars and homes on IG and all available platforms. Post pictures of yourself in a private jet that is parked in a hanger .
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