Consent is Sexy

Few days ago, I was privileged to watch the Big Brother Nigeria show for the first time. On this day, they were discussing about sex and consent. This was 3 days after Kemen’s disqualification from the show.

Even though I am not of fan of BBN but for over an hour l was intrigued by the exercise the housemates were made to go through regarding sex and consent.

Questions like have you ever be compelled to have sex with someone? Have you been scared to say no? Have you ever pressured/pressure someone to have sex with you? Have you ever been sexualized, been made sexual references to and objectified? and a couple others were asked. And even though bulk of the housemates answered in the affirmative, it was a time of reflection for me. I saw myself in my mind’s eye answering in the affirmative too.

The facilitator stated that consent is

-          Enthusiastically wanted

-          Mutually agreed

-          Freely given

-          Informed

Silence is not consent. You do not know their history and whether they feel they can say no. Body languages, lack of physical resistance, confused and unclear communication is not consent. It’s safe to say that if the person doesn’t want and didn’t express consent just leave s/he alone else it becomes sexual assault/rape.

It’s really not that hard right? Apart from having blue balls and probably bruised ego which you can heal from in a couple of minutes/days but on the other hand self control can save your life a ton of stress.

He that is without self control is like a city without walls. Absolutely defenseless!

I may never watch BBN but l did learn a vital lesson and that is #consentissexy

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