Hello,Harmattan!!!

Nigerian weather can be really frustrating. If it’s not raining heavily, it’s so hot you think you’ve experienced hell and other times, the harmattan will get you feeling like someone wants to turn you into stockfish.

The harmattan comes with a lot of dust. And so while you are happy that the sun and sweating are on pause for a few months, you are worried about respiratory problems, cracked lips and skin and the drynesssss!

As a child I looked like a cave man. Dust in my hair, face so white, broken lips, I would pay a billion dollars not to have the complete picture painted. This weather is drunk. I swear!!! I think the temperature is below 20 degrees. Maybe, just maybe the harmattan has fangs too cos it bites everything: your ears, fingers, nose, neck and heaven help you if you are not properly covered.

I am all for looking at the positive side of a terrible situation so, here are the few things we get to enjoy during the harmattan.

1. Malaria must go: the weather isn't favourable for the breeding of mosquitoes.

2. Smooth skin; your face is smooth and acne free

3. I can officially do my laundry at 2:00pm and my clothes will get dried. Yay!!!

4. Sunrises and sunsets: have you taken the time out to look at the sun rise or set during this period? Breathtaking!  I just looked up and I’m awed. I wish i took a picture.

Don't forget to moisturize.

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The new troubles of being a Pharmacy student ( the White and Ash story)

Within two days of my resumption, five of my friends had already asked "hope you came with your White and Ash?". I had no choice but to go dig out my white/it was white/cream shirts I had and a couple of ash n somehow ash skirts.

Fully claded in my school uniform I set out on monday morning to Marlima where my 7:30am class was holding. Unfortunately, I was late so imagine the nostalgic feeling I had when I tip toed into class and suddenly wished for maureen my secondary school seat mate.

Immediately I sat down, impulsively I reached for the buckle of my sandals so I can adjust my socks and realized,oh!!! I'm wearing flats and in a professional environment.

As the Lecturer continued with his definition of (Seriously, I can't remember). My thoughts drift to the day the class rep will start writing down names of noise makers or collect names for those wey speak pidgin. I stiffled a laugh when the guy behind me asked his friend " guy una bang table greet the lecturer good morning as him enter?"

Quite frankly I've had enough of uniforms. "Take the sweater off.", "Button it up." Seriously? If it's 90 degrees in the classroom and our poor school can't afford air conditioning, don't tell us to put our uniforms on. If it's 20 degrees, and we are freezing, don't tell us to take the sweaters off. Aside the White and Ash craze, its comforting when the girls/boys steps out in blazing white,it was white.creamy white or whatever shades of white and still look stunning.

Officially, we are back to school and with this new trend of wearing uniforms  there would be lots of funny moments in school. Wanna know more? I'll tell u tomorrow. Let's go to class.

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Unbelievable Facts

The average fast food consumer eats 12 public hairs a year .

Human behavioral studies suggest that the best way to get someone's attention is to stop giving them yours.

Bruce Lee was so fast that his films often had to be slowed down in order for viewers to see his moves.

The Spanish national anthem has no words.

If the amount of water in your body is reduced by just 1%, you'll feel thirsty. If it's reduced by 10%, you'll die.

The strongest muscle in the body is tongue.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

Yawning doesn't always necessarily mean you're tired, it also means your body needs more oxygen.

The growth of cancer cells can be slowed down by consuming

Marijuana.

The rumbling noise from your stomach is called 'borborygmus' and is from "housecleaning" your intestines and isn't a sign of hunger.

There are 30 million accounts of people on facebooks who have already died.

What not to wear to Church.

It’s okay to come to church as you are,  God accepts everyone as they are. Since Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, unfortunately  what we wear does matter when we are entering the sanctuary. Attending church, we want to make sure the attention is not on us because we decided to wear the same club dress went out in last night. Of course if that’s all you have, so be it in  Jesus name.

Here is a list of clothing items you should NEVER wear to church.

1. Do not wear tight or too short clothing to church. One reason people attend church is to worship and because church is sacred. With that being noted, leave the club wear at the club.

Out of respect for church, if wearing a dress or skirt it should at least be knee length. Please also refrain from long skirts with slits that may show your essentials.

2. Unless you have issues with your eyes, please remove your shades. You are not a celebrity. Wearing shades while anyone in authority speaks is rude.

3. No open backside, save it for the appropriate occasion.

4. No cleavage, its just wrong.

5. Please lightly spray your cologne or perfume. The congregation should not smell your fragrance from the parking lot of the church. If you smoke please refrain from spraying perfume or cologne to cover the smoke smell it only makes matters worse. Smokers should use body spray rather than perfumes or colognes to disguise the smoke smell. Mints also help with the smoke aroma.

Most men do pretty well when it comes to church and business environments, but the next few fashion tips are for men.

1.When wearing a new suit, please remove all tags and threading. For example, suits with designer's tags on the arms of the suit is only for in store purposes. Please remove these tags from the sleeves of your suits before attending church service.

2. The threading on the lower part of the jacket should also be removed. Suits have a lot of styles and fashions, so please make sure you are choosing your suit colors wisely. A man wearing a suit should not look like they are Easter egg hunting every Sunday.

 Last but certainly not least, please make sure all

socks worn are clean and hole and fur ball free.

These tips are just the tip of the iceberg when speaking of church and fashions. With any fashion, when in doubt-don't.

Let's go to church.

Tags: examiners.com,peggyzplace,the source .

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Nosakhare Favour Osayuwamen.

The Rape story everyone must read.

A young woman was brutally gang-raped at the University of Virginia. What happened next is even alarming.

Over a month ago, Rolling Stone published a  terrifying investigation of the rape of a student at the University of Virginia, in the US. The rape itself was shocking; the university’s response, unforgivable.

Jackie was 19 and in her first year at UVA when she went on a date with a frat brother named Drew. He took her to a party at his frat house. He took her upstairs soon after they arrived,where he and seven other men took turns raping her for the next three hours. They pushed her into a glass coffee table.They punched her in the face. When one man hesitated to join the rape, the others encouraged him to defile Jackie with a beer bottle. He did.

That Jackie was raped by eight men is a shocking crime. To feel so entitled to someone else’s body that you abuse it, take it for your own and violate it seems totally unbelievable. It should be unbelievable.

And yet, sadly, it is not. Rolling Stone reports that as many as one in five women will be raped during their time at UVA. One in five.

But what happened next is more shocking, and in some ways, the greater crime. All but one of Jackie’s friends encouraged her to keep quiet. Speaking up about a beloved frat house would “ruin her reputation” and become “a shitshow.” So she stayed quiet, not knowing how to proceed.

 But when she called her mother, begging for help after purchasing a rope with which she intended to hang herself, she urged her to speak to the dean. The dean presented three options. Jackie could file a criminal complaint with police, or she could keep the matter within the school, and either be judged by a jury of her peers and teachers, or have an “informal resolution” with her attackers, where she would explain to them how the crime made her feel. That the two options that weren’t “going to the police” were given equal weight to reporting the crime presented as choices just as viable and helpful to Jackie and the community at large as pressing criminal charges – is totally unjust. Because though it may have been presented as a way

for Jackie to feel empowered in her decision,what “keeping the matter within the school” really does is protect her rapists.

I am constantly astounded when I  hear that some people think that female inequality is a third-world problem. In first-world countries like Australia and the US, where Jackie’s gang-rape took place, men and women are equal. There are no more barriers. Women in first-world countries, the message seems to be, should think of themselves lucky to have laws in place to protect them from discrimination and rape and domestic violence.

It’s the women in third-world countries, the ones who aren't even allowed to drive, who need feminism. The real oppression doesn't happen here.  

 There are, indeed, laws that tell us that rape is criminal, that rapists will be punished. But there is also a sense, in some corners of society,that rape is something that can be dealt with, can be swept away. That’s not right. It’s not even close to right. And so for anyone who thinks that this has nothing to do with us, I’d encourage you to read Jackie’s story. She lives it every single day – the least we can do is try to understand.

Tags; Jackie,Drew, UVA,rolling stone, cosmopolitan,US, Australia,LAUREN SMELCHER SAMS

photo credit; shuttter shock.

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Funny Naija Tv commercials

Sit down for some hours and watch any of our tv stations or you could plug your ears with headphones and tune in to any radio station around your area. You would be amazed at the kind of advert you see/hear and the way it is done.

Firstly, you would frown then on a lighter note you would laugh your ribs out. When I was much younger the tv was my addiction so I can still remember most of the funny and educative adverts I've seen. Let's talk a stroll down memory lane (I've been around the block for a while) . Here's a few, you can add yours.

Workers:We want super sack, bagco super sack.

Worker1:Oga make u dey buy us cement wey dey inside bagco super sack.

Oga: an han, no be that bag una dey use before wey dey leak cement for una body?

Worker 1:Bagco super sack na different bag

Worker 2:E get double layer,na waterproof,Water no fit tosh nothing inside am

Worker1: E come strong kakaraka no dey burst dey leak cement for we head

Workers: yaaaaaaaaaay

Worker 2:Bagco super sack also dey reusable.U fit sell am for market women them

Oga:So for big house like this i go fit make plenty thousand Naira.?

Workers: Yessssss.

Oga: Me sef like better thing.Na bagco super sack i go dey buy from.

Workers: yaay ooooooooooooo we don win oh, we don win, bagco super sack, we don win. ----

Ariel

I dey sell fish... all the fish water for rob for my body.. na soo my body go dey smell like fish..when i cut the fish the blood wey dey go come stain my body. but when i come use omo

my body go come dey smell so so sce

Maltina

Tell what you really really really want

Tell what you really really really want

I Wanna, I Wanna, I WANNA Maltina!

NUTRI-C

nutri c

nutri c

my favorite drink

my only drink

another name for vitamin c

and more

satisfying

nourishing

a great taste nutri c yeah...

i like to be a part of it

you wont like to be left out

a great drink

nutri c

Eclairs--

''This is the new cadbury chocolate Eclairs.

It comes in a new purple and gold foil.

Rich cream caramel.

And still has a new ''Choc-choc'' you're gonna love it.

Hmmmmm...its big and delicious and one taste it gonna be....in

my mouth.

So, go get yours now

Omo

Girl 1: " How come your clothe is always cleaner than mine?"

Girl 2: " Cos my mom washes them"

Girl 1; " But my mom washes mine too"

Girl 2; " Well my mom uses super blue Omo"

Mom: " That's true

Gold Circle Condom:

Conductor: Who get this raincoat?

Man: Abeg na me!

(Everybody laughs at him)

Neutral Lady: Look you, you think say everybody dey wakabout town like una, Gold circle condom dey also help

person to plan the family well well.

Man: Thank you, madam! Na the chemist wey dey my

workplace I buy this one and na for me and my woman only.

Conductor: Oga make you sofri sofri for Madam tonight o!

(song) go for gold o! Gold Circle condom!

AIT

AIT, AIT, the communication, ogbonge Tv, for this nation,

sum sum sum sum

Mama, Papa ooo, AIT na we station, Sister, brother ooo.

AIT na we station!

First among the rest is A

The best is I

The third is T

Africa Independent

AIT- African independent Television, AAAA I T

Africa independent Television

Oh Yes - You be the best, always always be the best, for sum

sum sum summation

Education - Summation

First across the federation

The best TV, na AIT!

Who remembers

Cowbell dey for powder....e no need fridge at all oo.....cowbelluoo, papillo I know say one day u go make us proud, b without bb is like a train without an engine, the zebrudaya elephant advert,  and the recent indomie indomitables, honeywell wheat meal o for everybody na correct wakis. Hope I wested your time *in sdk's voice*

Tags ; Nairaland, Nutri-c , Cowbell, Omo, AIT, Gold circle, Eclairs, Maltina, Zebrudaya.

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Favourmoyseblog

Re: How to choose political leaders

Few days ago I pubished an article on how to choose political leaders here and have gotten a lot of response. So today I decided to post one of the mails. Opinions are still welcome.

Re;

That would be a requirement for electing a Pastor or Choir master ,not for  a political leader. In politics we talk of blueprint or ideology, record of past performance and vision for the citizens.Selection of  leaders should be based on considerations beyond what the Dominion Article says it should be.

 I beg to disagree with the author that Christians should vote a Christian. This goes contrary to every known logic in leadership in the secular world. Leadership is about vision, it is about integrity, it is about love for country men and women, it is about the ability to inspire, it is about the will to challenge the led to aspire to greater inspirations for themselves and their country. That is what we should consider in choosing who governs, not religion. I have always maintained the views as extreme as it may sound that I would rather live in a nation governed by an Atheist or Buddist or Muslim or any person of contrary faith to Christianity if such a person would guarantee electricity, pipe borne water, good roads, decent living conditions, affordable health care system and fight against corruption than live in a nation governed by a Christian saint as we have today where all the maladies ranging from satanic corruption, under development, human induced poverty afflicted by the so called leaders, insecurity and insurgency has taken over the day. It was vision no religion that made the leaders pf China, Malaysia, Singapore, South Korea and other Asian tigers over take and over run Nigeria economically and in every indices of growth. These countries don't have up to 20% of citizens as Christians or Muslims. They re mostly practising other religions we regard here as paganism. Yet they turned around their nations in less than 20 to 30 years and now competing with America and other advanced economies. It is my firm views that religion is only the opium of the masses in the words of Greek philosopher Socrates.

 Opium is used to calm frayed nerves and so is religion. In all the epoch in human history from the age of slavery to the modern era, religion has become a superstructure used by the few oligarchical/ bourgeois class to impose their wish on the masses. And the religious leaders act as a conduit for administering the dosage. In Nigeria where governance has failed, economy is failing and people are in the worst crisis of our time, religious preachers rather than toe the line of preaching the change gospel are  preaching voting for a Christian bas if the lives of Christians have been better of than they were before now, under  Christians president. We need to teach our people that like the popular saying goes, "the people deserve the kind of leaders they get".

Nations that advance and make progress don't publicize religion. In civilised world the embarrassment of asking a man his religion is similar to what you get for asking a man how his last night's conjugal duty to his wife was.  We desire a leader for a secular world of commerce, industry and trade and not  church leaders.

Chukumnonso Odum (Esq)

My Anti Bucket List

There are so many things I don’t want to do. Ever.
Because of decency.
Because of personal tastes.
But mostly because of fear.
I used to have a Bucket List. I say “used to” because I have no idea where that list is, and I managed to do a lot of it before I hit 25. Bad Ass. I guess it’s time that I make a new list. But I’m not in the mood. Instead, I am going to create my Anti Bucket List - a list of things you will NEVER do. One way of figuring out what you DO want in life is jnowing what you DON'T

My Anti Bucket list.
I will never do hard drugs. The window for me to experiment with drugs is way closed. I am officially too old to try cocaine. People my age
who start doing drugs look sad and desperate. People my age who already do drugs look sad
and desperate. No thanks.

I will never do a body shot. I'm not the classiest lady in the world, but I'm classier than that.

Go to jail.
“Getting thrown in jail is so much fun” said NO ONE EVER!!

Take life seriously: there are a lot of serious things in life, and if you can't laugh then you might as well put yourself into solitary confinement.

I will never smoke a cigarette. Unhealthy, unattractive, all-around awful. Never.

I will never be too old for Harry Potter

How to choose political leaders.

During elections, many people ask me, "Who shall I vote?".My answer has always been, "Use the Biblical principles God has laid out and you will always find the best leader". Here are
seven major time-tested and universal principles for choosing a political leader.
1. He shall be whom the Lord has chosen: Set someone that God has chosen. Come in prayers and ask him for direction.
2. He shall be one from among your brethren: As a Christian, you must put a fellow believer in office. Even if he is not from your tribe or region, he must be a true Christian. Never use your vote to enthrone an unbeliever.
3. He shall not multiply horses to himself: He should never accumulate weapons of war for himself but must be a person that builds national security.
4. He shall not cause the people to return to Egypt: He should not lead the people back to slavery, neo-colonization, idolatry, occultism, etc.
5. He shall not multiply wives: He must respect family values. Not a person that is promiscuous or immoral. Immorality corrodes mentality and blinds vision.
6. He shall not greatly multiply silver & gold for himself.He must not be economically corrupt. He must build the commonwealth of the people and not just his own personal wealth.
7. He must be ruled by higher values. He must have the fear of God, read the Bible daily to fear and obey the Lord. Anytime people choose a leader based on these principles, they will always rejoice because the righteous is in authority. Share these truths and apply them.
GOD BLESS YOU!
Culled from www.mydominioncity.com

Dear God

Hey FMBers.

I was cooking  today and had my mp4 on shuffle. I have thousands of songs but this one brought tears to my eyes. It's so appropriate for the new year. Read the lyrics and buy this song if you can. It's powerful.

"Dear God" by Smokie Norful

[Verse 1:]

It feels so good to make it this far
And I didn't think I could take it so long

Welcome to 2015

Wishing one & all a blessed new year! As you step into this new season, be confident of our Lord Jesus' love for you, and that His fresh mercies are available to you every day of 2015. Because He loves you,