Fellow Nigerians.

Nigerians can be very competitive eh! Even in spiritual things.

Me:  my head day pain me.

Colleague: your own small, my head, neck, waist, everywhere dey pain me.

Wanna try sarcasm??? Na we get the award. Amazingly, our sarcasm is filled with so much humour. Sometime ago, I wore this really nice LBD to class and my friend Izuu said ‘ Ah! Favour this your dress is fine oooo… but it looks like OKRIKA. Choi!!! I laughed so hard eh… me I didn’t feel bad o cos I know he has BAD MOUTH but see eh… after that day I jus KUKUMA DATCH out the cloth.  Here are a list of Naija favourite phrases and its meaning you can add yours… leggo

1. Asin

Meaning:‘I don’t understand.’

‘How?’

‘Exactly.’

2. Ehen

Meaning:‘Continue.’

 ‘And so?’

‘Oh, I get it.

3. You don buy market

Meaning: you are in trouble

4. Shakey-Shakey

Meaning : shivers

Someone who lacks confidence

5.  My Friend

Usually used when a Nigerian is at their least friendly, either to caution or lure you into a stern warning.

Example: “Daddy, could I please get some money?”

“After that result you brought home? My friend, will you get out of here

6. They said

The thing is no one really knows who ‘They’ is, but it is the go-to pronoun for the Nigerian who doesn’t see the need to be specific.

Example: “They said you just finally got engaged, thank God, we were getting worried.”

7. This is Nigerian for ‘I told you so.’ Not to be confused with the ‘Good for you’ that typically means congratulations.

Example: “Didn’t I tell you not to date married men, you’re now here crying stupid tears. Well, it’s good for you

8.  See finish

This is Nigerian for ‘familiarity breeds contempt.’ Usually used when a Nigerian gets disrespected by someone they consider to be beneath them.

Example: “Did you hear how Amaka spoke to me? I don’t blame her, na see finish cause am

9.  Chanced

When someone takes your spot or cuts in front of you.

Example: “See as you just chanced everybody, we that we are on the line do we have two heads?”

10. Two heads

This is a double edged Nigerian term typically laced with heavy sarcasm, it could be used to mean superior (like the example below) or stupid (like the example above).

Example: “Jolade that came first, does she have two heads?”

If you ever read The Rivals by Richard Sheridan you will know that Malaproprism is synonymous with Tautology/repetition. So how do Nigerians repeat words? See examples below

Waka waka

Beggy beggy

Bear bear

Follow follow

Looku looku

Thief thief

Yama yama

Kata kata

I won’t forget stuffs like

How far?

You don enter one chance

Shine your eye

Dis tin

You don fall my hand.