Friday, April 24, 2015

Sleeping with the Enemy.

I've spent the last 27 years of my life in India, lived in three small towns, two major cities, and I've had several experiences. When I was seven, a private tutor who used to come home to teach me mathematics molested me. He would put his hand up my skirt. He put his hand up my skirt and told me he knew how to make me feel good. At 17, a boy from my high school circulated an email detailing all the sexually aggressive things he could do to me because I didn't pay attention to him. At 19, I helped a friend whose parents had forcefully married her to an older man escape an abusive marriage. At 21,
when my friend and I were walking down the road one afternoon, a man pulled down his pants and masturbated in front of us. We called people for help, and nobody came. At 25, when I was walking home one evening, two men on a motorcycle attacked me. I spent two nights in the hospital recovering
from trauma and injuries - Meera Vijayaan

Conor first physically attacked me five days before our wedding. It was 7 a.m. I still had on my nightgown. I was working on my computer trying to finish a freelance writing assignment, and I got frustrated, and Conor used my anger as an excuse to put both of his hands around my
neck and to squeeze so tightly that I could not breathe or scream, and he used the chokehold to hit my head repeatedly against the wall. Five days later, the ten bruises on my neck had just faded, and I put on my mother's wedding dress, and I married him - leslie Morgan Steiner.

In December 2012, a  young girl, a 23-year-old student, boarded a bus in Delhi with her male friend. There were six men on the bus, young men who you might encounter every day in India, and the chilling account of what followed was played over and over again in the Indian and international media. This girl was raped repeatedly, forcefully penetrated with a blunt rod, beaten, bitten, and left to die. Her friend was gagged, attacked, and knocked unconscious. She died on the 29th of December.

Domestic/gender violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of anabusive relationship is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love.Domestic violence should not happen to anybody. Ever. Period. But it does - and when it does, there is help. Maybe you have lived with abuse, maybe it happened just once; maybe you work or live next to someone who is being abused right now.

Abuse thrives only in silence. You have the power to end domestic violence simply by shining a spotlight on it. Victims need everyone. They need every one of us to understand the secrets of domestic violence. Show abuse the light of day by talking about it with your children, your coworkers, your friends and family. Recast survivors as wonderful, lovable people with full futures. Recognize the early signs of violence and conscientiously intervene, deescalate it, show victims a safe way out.

Together we can make our beds, our dinner tables and our families the safe and peaceful oasis they should be.

P.S. please lovelies don't blame me yet for my inconsistent blogging for the past weeks, Blame my exams pleaseeee...muah!!!!

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  1. Oh mehnnnnnn....I dunno what to say mami....the second paragraph??!......Naaaa...the evil that men do?...Jesus Christ!

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  3. Domestic Violence is so wrong on every level!!!
    Best wishes with your exams.


  4. Some people are unbelievably creepy and evil. How one can do that to another is beyond comprehension? This problems should never be overlooked - all these abusers need to be punished

    1. yes they should be and we need stringent laws against domestic violence in this country.. fanks for dropping by

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