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Tick. And the best bit was when we kissed goodnight, I had that rush of excitement like you’ve just eaten a whole bag of KFC Chicken and chips.
Over the next few weeks, we
hung out more – going to the movies, the beach and out for lazy
Sunday clubbing. The more I got to know him, the more I started liking him. I
even told my friends I had a crush.But then I texted him, asking
him if he wanted to meet up on the weekend, and it’s
been SEVEN days and he still hasn’t answered.
I think he’s
ghosted…
Ghosting: adj: when a male
human has been courting a female human and disappears into thin air with no
reason or explanation. But make no mistake, you have been dumped. See also:
smoke bomb; Pink Panther.
Have you been ghosted? HOW
BAD IS IT?! It is literally THE WORST. When you’re
dumped the good ol’ regular way, you’re gutted, for sure.
But, depending how long you were together for, you can wallow, watch 30 days in
Atlanta or lekki wives or When love happens… then after a few
days you can analyse what went wrong, get your besties and your heels, and get
back out there.In other words, there’s
a process you go through that allows you to grieve and move on. But when he disappears like
Harold Holt with no clues as to why, there’s no process –
only an emotional rollercoaster. For the last seven days, every time my phone’s
buzzed I’ve been filled with hope and excitement and
butterflies – this might be him…Finally!
Then when I see it’s just MTN
telling me why I need to have Tiwa Savage and Waje's "my baby" as a caller tune, the
disappointment punches me hard, right in the pit of my stomach.
I’ve
gone through every detail thinking I’d done something to
offend him or I’d been too clingy. I’ve
made up every excuse in the book to explain away his lack of communication –
maybe he’s been called away on urgent work business? Maybe his
phone got stolen? Maybe tiny dwarves broke into his
apartment and cut off his fingers with teeny tiny saws? And it’s
driving me nuts! But really, I know I’m
just avoiding the truth of the situation – he’s
not into me, so much so that he can’t even be bothered to
let me know. And that’s the real kicker with being ghosted –
I hate that I’m spending so much time thinking about a guy who is
thinking of me even less than he does his great aunt, twice removed.
I wish my mind was stronger
than that. I’m trying though, and any time a thought of him creeps
into my brain like a snake Slithering out of the bushes, I kill it by repeating
Hulk, Hulk, Hulk in my head. I have no idea why this works, but it does. Try it
if you don’t believe me. And finally, I keep reminding
myself he’s moved on. Time for me to do the same. But I’m
still mad. I mean seriously? Ghosting?! How weak. Man up AND TELL ME I’M DUMPED! Even if it is on a
Post-It.
Tags: #datingharriet, when
love happens, AY, cosmopolitan,Mtn, Hulk,Tiwa Savage,Harold Holt, Waje.
Ghosting is d most cowardly act ever...nice one favour
ReplyDeleteyea... its reli a cowardly act.. y don't u jus say you don't want the person anymore. fanks for dropping by linda
Deletenot knwing why, wld ve driven me crazy, if dis happened to me... kpele oh
ReplyDeletefanks buki
DeleteNew here... Guess I need to start dropping by often :)
ReplyDeletewelcome david
DeleteGhosted indeed!
ReplyDeleteyea
Deletelol,,,, height like that of M.I... lmao
ReplyDeletelolz too.. #make M,I no catch me o
DeleteM.I. don suffer 4 una hand. lol
DeleteM.I. don suffer 4 una hand. lol
Deleteits crazy I tell you!! this happened to me once $ he disappeared for almost a year. I eventually caught up with him one Fateful day, where he came back to ask for forgiveness & a new opportunity blah blah blah... & so I asked why he ''vanished without a trace'' (no pun intended) His excuse? very flimsy- listen to this:''at that point in my life I was asking God to show me my wife & then, a couple of days later, a group of friends were gisting & they mentioned your name as someone's girldfriend, so i took that as a sign from God...'' How lame? he should have sumourned up the courage to ASK ME FIRST if it was true (turned out it wasnt, as this person just wished that I was his, & kept talking to others about it- in faith maybe, hehe!) I just told him he was a coward! so, if we were married & you heard something about me in public, would you just dash off like that? na wah! He apologized & begged but abeg i dumped him like a soiled diaper!
ReplyDeletewow! wow!! wow!!! he jus dropped off the radar like that? tank God you made the right decision. you are a superwoman
DeleteUgh. That sucks. But no real man would do that, so for you, it's a blessing. Better now than never.
ReplyDeleteabi o... vere
DeleteGoing through that right now,he act like he really loves me but he told me he does not love..really?leading me on for a long time..moving on now.makes me strong.
ReplyDeleteawww babe... i can relate.. do not settle for anyfin less than Gods best. xoxoxo
DeleteThank uu*hugs* just glad he was honest with me even tho I'm so in love with him..
Deletes**t happens.. better days are ahead hun
DeleteNow I know a new word "Ghosted".
ReplyDeleteHmm in some ways it's harder sef than when your boyfriend dumps you cos in this case you don't know the reason why he did it.
You start to self evaluate and all your insecurities come to the fore.
It's happened to me about two times. Luckily they were mega jerks so I didn't mind.
One dropped me off in the rain by the road side and I had to walk to my grandma's house,d other said I was proud cos my cousin came to open the gate for him instead of me.
Both on the first days.
In my mind,i don ghost them sef before they did their own ghosting.
Have I ghosted? Yep. No time to waste abeg.
choi funmi!!! ur comment awaz leaves me awestruck....shebi u don put up new post for your blog ooo
DeleteSo I'm not the only one that says Ghosting, lol.
ReplyDeleteWhen people do this - I think it is rude and cowardly. Sometimes there is a good reason, but a lot of times guys think they are sparing your feelings but they aren't. I've had to tell guys - please call her and tell her something, it is not cool.
I think I have been the one to do so once or twice but not without saying "yo, you are not the one" so that's not really ghosting and even then I did not like having to do that. The exit was announced. Everyone has feelings and we must all be cognizant of that in any relationship. But some Naija guys...you say hello and they are already asking for your blood type! Bye Felix.
lolz @ u say hello and they are already asking for your blood type. kikikik
Deleteto be frank, most times I when I feel a lil confused about this relationship thing, I just hibernate into ghost mood.
ReplyDeletebut that does not mean I have stopped loving you.
Ocso | 234 Jam Blog
forgive my use of English. :p
DeleteSometimes men pulls back when their feelings for a lady overwhelms them. all the lady need to do is wait it out, pull back too to give him that space, don't call, him, don't text him either, forget all about him and engage yourself with things that make you happy. if he comes back, he is for you but if he didn't come back then it's good riddance, you are well off without such a man.
ReplyDeletewww.beinspiredwithmily.com
deep
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