My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning”.
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up. I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
My mother taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that’s why”.
My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me”.
My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you are in an accident”.
My mother taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I will give you something to cry about”.
My mother taught me the science of OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper”.
My mother taught ne about CONTORTIONISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck”.
My mother taught me about STAMINA. “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone”.
My mother taught me about WEATHER, “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it”.
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait till we get home”.
My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home”.
My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stick that way”.
My mother taught me ESP.”Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”.
My mother taught me HUMOUR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes don’t come running to me”.
My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you will never grow up”.
My mother taught me GENETICS. “You’re just like your father”.
My mother taught me about my ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
My mother taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand”.
And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you’ll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!”
So what did you mom teach you? Lemme know.
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