My first encounter with thieves

Run! Was the first thought that came to mind immediately I saw the guy jumped from his bike.

I didn’t think!

I didn’t hesitate!

I didn’t even wait! I simply ran.

The Ignition - Film Review

In  the Nigerian  Movie  Industry, there  is a cliché  that every Christian  movie is “Mount  Zion  Films Production”,  but  that fallacy would soon  be something to be glad about  even  if no movie can  fully explore  a subject. 

Some time ago I  was opportuned to watch  what I  term  the “Best Produced” Mount  Zion  Movie I have watched in  a  while: “THE IGNITION”.
STORYLINE: The Ignition  the story  of a  Christian  bachelor  with a faulty  car,  Shola (Damilola  MikeBamiloye)   who  falls in love and gets engaged  with Ngozi (Chioma  Nwangwu) an  epileptic Christian sister  of a different tribe.  It was a smooth ride  until her  ailment becomes  the constant  potholes he has to endure  while friends and public opinions are  bumps that come  against  his faith and convictions.

A Woman Scorned

Today I nearly got a collateral slap on a bus! Yeah right, what a great way to start the day.
A man had called a woman 'erbo' during a mild argument; erbo, a derogatory bini word, which when used literally means an idol, but when applied to a fat woman -and yes, the woman was fat indeed - takes on a completely different meaning...

Unpregnant- Stories from the Hospital

Terrifying was the word l described the emergency unit with during my first few weeks as a Medical intern. The terror was later replaced with thrill. The thrill of saving lives, breaking bones, diagnosing and finding solution. To do this, we would often fit pixels of medical knowledge together until we saw the picture. The big picture.
Sometimes it was heart breaking. The loss of a dear patient and having to break the news to the family. 
Their reaction followed by denial and then acceptance all in split seconds with the wailing which sometime never fades. 
And there are days like today when the suprise is epic. 

Nigeria and its rape culture

Nigeria has a rape culture said my friend Ese, this was on a day we were discussing about lecturers having sex with female students for grades and why they refuse to speak out( story for another day)

Few weeks ago I got into a facebook drama with a friend because she posted a status about women and abuse and how our daughters should be taught properly on how to behave. I got pissed and replied that this is one of the reasons abuse will continue to thrive in our homes. Its always the fault of the woman, she needs to be of a gentle and quiet spirit, submissive, leave the marriage if it doesn’t work, the woman just has a burden to know, learn and apply. So I asked what about the men?

HOW TO BE AFRICAN

To be a typical African is pretty easy. It involves an easy-to-do, practical guide which I will help you with. So this is how to be African – 

First, be born black. Now you have no say in this matter, it is totally a handiwork of nature. But before you cradled into the continent, do ask for enough melanin to withstand the heat and dryness. I don’t know how you would ask, but ask all the same.

Secondly, when you finally arrive the hot and arid location; when you become aware of yourself, of your people, and of your culture; when you have learnt of your colonial masters with tanned skins of yellowish-brown and feathery moustaches, learn to grovel. Just grovel at the presence of the whites. Be fascinated by their color and accents. Never see them as humans; uphold them gods. You know why? Because they are superior. Their skin color gives them that edge. So please them, at your own expense and at the expense of your black brothers.

I wanted the girls to like me (Part Two )

The next day, immediately after afternoon prep, I was at the registration stand to sign up for the next set of 800 meters juniorboys’ race tryouts. I was to represent Peace House. Each house had two (2) representatives. That is eight (8) athletes in all. Ilooked at members of my house from my lane on the race lines- both boys and girls that had begun to assemble, including members of other houses. A smile crossed my face, I knew in just a short while; they’d all know and be screaming my name in excitement and admiration; falling over each other as to who would buy me biscuit and ice cream for my fantastic performance! The official called us to order: ‘On your marks!’ Something inside was trying to get my attention to pull out of therace that I was about to make a big mistake but it was too late. ‘Get set…Go!’We all sprang into it and got running.

Some errors we make in life take a while to get obvious. The one I made that day wasn’t one of those. It was the kind wherein the foolishness of the action is manifested almost immediately.

I wanted the girls to like me ( Part 1}

FGC Okigwe, Sometime in February 2000.

I was terrible at sports- I still am, but I loved Inter-house sports periods at FGC Okigwe. It was an opportunity for lazy students; like I was, to have others join us in the frivolities of life, without feeling guilty about being unserious. When everybody becomes unserious, unserious becomes serious.

The inter-house sports main event was usually preceded by weeks of tryouts and selection of athletes for the big event. Inter house sports heat periods in school were like sacred moments when miraculous things happened. Both senior and junior students, in the same house, shared emotions of joy and disappointment at their collective wins and losses- paying little attention to their class differences which was so important in a boarding house environment. Spectacularly talented and athletic junior students were temporarily allowed to rub shoulders with senior students from their house who were impressed with their accomplishments and then, most remarkably, on the main Inter- house sports day, even the ugliest of girls became temporarily fine- many thanks to hair gels, application of primary colors for facial make up and other accessories that they lavishly used on such occasions.

Doing is all there is

These days, I have been reminiscing about the movie, Whiplash. Sometimes, I fire up my laptop just to see clips of the movie and what Fletcher said to Neiman.

Oftentimes when I was little, I had pictured the stages of my life in kaleidoscopic mirrors; each phase revealing shiny colors of glamour. I often saw my life as an earth filled with manna and quails – Just eat. Just catch. So it was easy to make the mistake of thinking that talent is enough. And when asked then in secondary school, kitted with my white shirt and grey pants, what was my aspiration, I would quickly reply: “To win the Nobel Prize.” What a Waawu! Lol!

Photo of the day

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Conjugal tales of Mama Bread

Hysterectomy! I was 15 when I first heard of this term.
 A neighbor was just discharged from the hospital and as she got down from the car the atmosphere was filled with ‘welcome’ and ‘sorry’.
What happened to her? I asked my dad
“She had a hysterectomy” he replied
Meaning?
“Oh! It meant her womb was removed”
I kept quiet for a while before I proceeded to ask why her womb was removed. My father went further to explain that her husband beat her up and she was rushed to the emergency unit, unfortunately, it was either her life or her womb. Eh ya! I muttered trying to grasp the depth of the information l have just been given.

Battle field of the mind - Book Review

If you struggle with worry and doubt, anger or condemnation, or even depression–this book is for you. The author contends that only by overcoming unhealthy thinking patterns can we be set free and have inner peace. This book continues to be a hot seller on Amazon even though it was published eight years ago.

I JUST GOT MARRIED AND THIS IS MY STORY 2

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Image Source: www.onthewall.com

I was overwhelmed by the number of hotels in Lagos. Every hotel I checked seemed to be lacking something until I checked the next one. In all this, I had written down the criteria for selecting my dream hotel. I wanted a 4-star luxury hotel with fully air conditioned and spacious rooms, a jacuzzi,  TV with satellite reception, swimming pool, a beautiful hallway for pictures, a bar for the guys to hangout, full-length mirrors for my girls to take selfies (winks, we are vain like that), free Wi-Fi internet, just to mention a few.

#memoirsoffae - Karma is a Bitch

If you ever lived in the school hostel and you don’t know how to walk in love and let things go easily, I doubt you will ever learn that anywhere else. This is because you encounter loads of people that stretch your patience beyond its elastic limit. I learnt how to snub people in school as well as standing up to bullies. During my final year in school, some girl lived with me for a couple of weeks and mehn!!! I didn’t find it funny. Part of my consolation was that she probably had a rough childhood, suffered rejection or had one of these traumatic experience still I wondered how someone could be so bitter and pitied her boyfriend.

Consent is Sexy

Few days ago, I was privileged to watch the Big Brother Nigeria show for the first time. On this day, they were discussing about sex and consent. This was 3 days after Kemen’s disqualification from the show.

Even though I am not of fan of BBN but for over an hour l was intrigued by the exercise the housemates were made to go through regarding sex and consent.

Questions like have you ever be compelled to have sex with someone? Have you been scared to say no? Have you ever pressured/pressure someone to have sex with you? Have you ever been sexualized, been made sexual references to and objectified? and a couple others were asked. And even though bulk of the housemates answered in the affirmative, it was a time of reflection for me. I saw myself in my mind’s eye answering in the affirmative too.

Lady blast Nigerian Men and their obsessive desire to touch females

Saw this on insta Blog naija and the response is what makes me shiver

10 Must-Have Items for any Business Trip

Trying to decipher what to pack for a business trip can be a very daunting task for a first time business traveller. Even the regular business travellers do encounter difficulty when it comes to making a list of important things to carry along. If you happen to be caught in this web, then you need not worry. Below is a list of ten important items to carry along with you for your next business trip:

1. Laptop

A laptop is a very important item to carry along for a business trip. This is because the computers at the business-centre in your hotel accomodation might not have the software you require. As such you will be better off if you carry along your personal computer or a wide-screen tablet to help you keep tabs on your daily assignments.

I JUST GOT MARRIED AND THIS IS MY STORY

Saturday, the 18th of February, 2017 will forever be etched in my memory. Not because I won the Olympic medal I have always been dreaming about. No, not yet. Neither is it because I bought my dream car – the red mini cooper 2016 edition. Oh well, I know God is working things out for me and very soon my red mini cooper will arrive (giggles). And until then, I patiently await ‘her’ arrival.

But that is not the essence of this story. The gist of this story is about the milestone that I just achieved. Yes, you guessed right. After several years of waiting and praying, I finally got married to the love of my life. And this is a recap of the unending episodes that preceded the d-day.

Guest Post: 5 Best Places to Visit in Lagos.

The hustling and bustling associated with our daily lives may deprive us of that special time with our families, friends or loved ones. Besides Lagos being the busiest state in Nigeria, it also has some of the best places, restaurants, movie centers and what have you. There is a wide variety of places in Lagos to choose from such as cheap and affordable hotels, ice cream factories, beautiful beaches as well as exquisite hotels. If you are based in Lagos, or planning a trip to Lagos very soon, here is a list of the five best places to visit with your friends and loved ones:

1. Terra Kulture

Terra Culture, Nigeria’s foremost cultural center, is one of the best places to visit in Lagos. It is located in the buzzing business district at the heart of Victoria Island, and serves as a cultural and recreational hub in Lagos. It attracts a large number of crowd from far and near places. Here, you can appreciate beautiful pieces of artwork with your spouse, enjoy tasty delicacies at the restaurants situated in the premises, or even take in the beautiful view of the surroundings.

2. La Campagne Tropicana Beach Resort

La Campagne Tropicana Beach Resort is one of the best places in Lagos where you can enjoy a romantic getaway with your spouse. With its beautiful and serene environment, couples are bound to forget their worries while enjoying each others company. The beach resort is intertwined in the core freshness of nature amongst virgin trees and the beautiful view of the alluring romantic reflection of the setting sun upon the calm surface of the Atlantic Ocean.

 3. Bheerhugz Cafe

If you are looking to go hangout with your friends, then Bheerhugz Cafe is one of the best places to visit for that purpose. It is a stylish lounge perfect for personal, corporate, group and social hangout. Situated in the high brow areas of Lagos State, Bheerhugz Cafe is a one-stop place for people looking to relax, unwind and enjoy delicious sumptuous meals prepared by some of the best chefs in town. The cosy longe at Bheerhugz Cafe will give your friends and you an interesting experience whilst you enjoy the thrill and comfort it gives.

4. Eko Hotels and Suites

 Eko Hotels and Suites is a perfect location for a romantic get away with your spouse. It is one of the luxury hotels in Nigeria. Located at the center of Victoria Island away from the hustle and bustle of the Lagos metropolis, they offer their walk in guests as well as corporate clients a prefect blend of African delicacies, intercontinental dishes, relaxation and so many fun activities. Overlooking the Eko Atlantic Ocean and City, the hotel is designed for the comfort and convenience of the guest. The hotel prides itself with having banqueting and conference facility that are world class. Eko Hotels and Suites organizes the best themed buffet held every Friday evening where guests are treated to specialties across the globe. You can attend the special themed buffet with your spouse on a quiet Friday night.

5. Ikeja City Mall

Your exploration of the city of Lagos will not be complete if you do not visit Ikeja City Mall. Ikeja City Mall is one of the best places to visit in Lagos. It is a major shopping center and home to cool hangout spots in Lagos. It is a good place to visit with your spouse. There is a wide variety of things you can do in Ikeja City Mall. They vary from seeing the latest blockbuster movie to trying new international cuisines, shopping for groceries at lower prices, buying original make-up or even buying the latest designer outfit.

Source : Sandra Enaholo

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Woman recounts her truimph over barrenness

I finally decide to share my testimony...

1. I was told I couldn't get pregnant due to severe hormonal imbalance... Suffice to say my last cycle was May/June 2015
This news was not new to me...had been told while I was way younger. It also wasn't news to my husband. Told him when I discovered things were moving fast and voala... He was ready to pray it out with me...in his words, "I want to marry you because I love you, however the children will definitely come". That settled, we went ahead with plans and preparations... We even decided that kids will start coming after 1year of just us together... Lol...got  married March 2015

For the love of bread

I am in an open relationship with bread. We started dating when I was four after my dad introduced us. I think it was love at first sight and since then it has been my present help in times of hunger. Always ready, always available, always cheap. I do not take our relationship for granted and I'm sure it feels the same way too.

The bus Evangelist again!!!

This bus Evangelist again!
Dear lord, what sin did I commit that this man wouldn’t let me be?  Remember the post I did on him HERE sometime ago. Do you ever wonder if these bus preachers sign like a memorandum of understanding with the company? Don’t get me wrong please. I am not against preaching the gospel in a public transport just that for every time I travel from onitsha to benin he’s always the one preaching in my bus and it just makes me wonder.

How to manage a side chic in this recession

Being in a recession does not mean you cannot still flex and maintain a Sidechick. No, all you have to do is adjust your books to favour your pocket. That’s the mistake most men make in the game. So without further ado, here are my top 10 best ways of maintaining a Sidechick on budget in this recessive period. Enjoy. .

1) Give her a budget accordingly to what you can afford. Once exceeds, that’s her own buisness. ..

Please don't say No (the salvageable Nigerian railway system

I bought a first class ticket to join a train from Port Harcourt to Kano (though I was to stop at Enugu). You can imagine the romantic notions I had about how the trip would go; how I would look out of the window in slow motion while having some melancholic background music to reminisce with on anything; while my imaginary long, jet black, silky hair would fly around in a carefree manner. Most of what I had thought about traveling by train was informed by European subway tubes! I know, right? I gave too much credit to a government run commercial system in Nigeria. I shall now attempt to share my experience as briefly as possible.

Secret of an irresistible woman - Review

One of my goals this year is to improve my reading habit. Read at least one book a week. I know that sounds like impossible but I have tons of e books and I keep getting more and not reading plus I really need to increase my knowledge data base. The world is moving at a fast pace. 
So during the last week of 2016 I went for a retreat and got three books two of which were authored by Michelle Mckinney Hammond.
I just finished reading "the secret of an irresistible woman" yesterday and hunnay!!!! This woman writes amazing sturvs. Her writing style is so simple and can be easily related with. I totally Enjoyed every page of the book. Here are some excerpts from the book. 

My Lost Little Girl

Mother, Uncle and grandma
beats her often,
they are trying to curtail her
excesses.
No boy is to stand around or near her.
Her every move is to be monitored.
'Ogbanje, worthless.' They call her.
With the rotten and hopeless, they assign her.
"Soliciting gifts and favours from every 'brother' and 'uncle' in the
neighborhood.
Why won't her life be in such shambles."
To change her or mend her?
They've tried it.
The beatings and floggings,
Didn't do it.

Happy New Year

May this new year bring all that you ever wished for. 

Your comments are like butter to my bread.. Pleeeaaassssseeee
don't starve me!!! Follow us on twiter HERE like our page on
facebook HERE follow us on instagram HERE . Share this post to
your friends, families, enemies infact everyone. FMB loves you.

Osayuwamen Favour Nosakhare