Nollywood and our stories

Last week after a refreshing time out with friends,we decided to watch a movie and one of the girls
suggested a nollywood movie. I objected but was overruled by the majority, so I kept mute and sat down. I don’t have anything against Nollywood but for what it’s worth I admire the resilence of the practitioners who have trudged on with basically no support or structure.

So I tried to keep an open mind about it and enjoy the movie but I couldn’t, it was the same story I had seen a million times; man is broke, man goes for money rituals, man becomes rich, man marries a girl, she can’t have kids, man’s mother comes from the village to torment her for “chopping my son’s money"...etc. At this point l clamped my big mouth lest I get stoned by my friends who were enjoying the movie, and my mind drifted away.

I remembered a TED speech given by my favourite Nigerian writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie on “the danger of a single story”. In the speech she essentially was talking about how it’s wrong to judge a person or a people by a single story that we have about them. This single story is just one side to them and certainly doesn’t capture their whole essence. Then I started thinking about how we often complain about the unbalanced reportage of Africa by the western media, but then using our own media and outlets have we
been telling a balanced story of us? Or are we guilty of the same thing that we accuse the foreign media of?
I totally agree that movies should somewhat be culturally relevant, but all there is to Nigeria is rituals? Aristoism? Mother-in-laws tormenting their son’s wives? And people being poisoned? So why are we telling a single story of ourselves. I reckon with people like Emem Isong,Blessing Efiom, and a few who have raised the bar with content but still majority of these movies dwell on the themes I mentioned above. These things do happen,but we have told these stories for too long, there are other stories that we can tell and sell too and make some money as well.

It was said that the renowned late activist Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti floated a political party and at a point even ran for prime minister. I have imagined a movie about her life with an iconic actress playing the lead role. Tell me, would this make sense or not?. Do I talk about the legendary love story of Late Dim Odumegwu Ojukwu and his wife Bianca? Why is it not a movie yet?. The Yar’Adua sickness debacle is a block buster movie waiting to be made. So you see my point, there are other stories to tell besides the ones we are telling currently.

There is a new crop of writers of Nigerian origin, many of which are gaining international recognition,because of the stories they tell about this same Nigeria. Each paints a different but true picture on his/her canvass and the world is beginning to Sit up and look. In another country a book like ‘Things fall apart’ would have been made into a movie several times, we even had to wait for Hollywood to come make a movie out of “Half of a yellow sun” by Chimamanda and in typical Nigerian fashion we had to complain about our actors not getting the lead roles. Nollywood has a lot of jokers, but it also has a lot of very talented people who can really bring it.

These people are often under utilized by the kind of scripts we hand to them. We should stop telling these single stories, there is so much more that we can talk about.
As my mind drifts back to the movie, the mother-in-law ( I am sure you can guess who) is standing
in front of a large mirror chanting incantations, an image of the sons wife appears and she raises a knife……I just got up and left to get myself a drink.

Tags;FMB,Nollywood,fabulous guy,Chimamanda Adichie,Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti,Emem Isong,Blessing Efiom,Yar'adua,Dim.O.Ojukwu,Bianca Ojukwu.

Twitter handle @dahliadona

Wife material ; how many yards?

Earlier on this year,I found that one of my friends had just moved to somewhere close to me so my
cousin and I decided to go and chill there. I was very excited because it was a new place to go
to faf about, play video games and drink red wine. The first thing that hit me when I stepped into the flat
was the mess. There were clothes strewn everywhere, empty soda cans in the hallway and the plates in the sink were so dirty, the food
remnants had caked. While I tried really hard not to judge him for being a little pig, my cousin who
had the self-control of a four year old burst out on our way home; “Ahn ahn! But junior has a
girlfriend na! Why was that place so dirty like that? Doesn’t she go there every time?” I thought about it long and hard. It was a tricky one;
one minute you’re being all “domestic” cleaning his flat, washing plates because you just can’t stand dirty places and the next minute you’re being tagged as “Playing Wifey”. I completely forgot
about that situation until last week
when one of the guys in my neighborhood  exclaimed “When
girls say they don’t want anything SERIOUS don’t believe them oh!”. He went on to to lament about
how one babe was “slowly worming her way into my house, bringing bath mat because she doesn’t want me to slip and last week it was mop
and mop bucket! Abeg I don’t want”

I was shocked! How do you know she’s not just being caring? she doesn’t want you to fall and hit
your knuckle head on the bath. Duh! My friend Isi is one of the sweetest people on earth. If
she meets you today, she’d be looking for ways to help you and shower you with as much love as
possible whether you’re a boy or a girl.

A lot of people say women don’t know what they want but sometimes men confuse me! You don’t carry their plate to the kitchen, it means you’re not a “wife material”. You don’t make stew when you come on holiday from jand “You’re not caring”. You bring wine glasses because you’re tired of drinking out of cheap plastic cups “you’re trying to invade my space”. You’re arranging the house because honestly you can’t stand the mess, it is automatically translated to “you’re trying to make yourself too comfortable”

Honestly I’m confused. How many “yards” of wife material” is one supposed to possess that will fit just right?

On the other hand there are some
women who really see it as all part of being a strategy. For some of them it pays off, but in other cases you hear sob stories of “After I
washed his brother’s boxers he went and married that Jennifer”.

Signed

Gaby

That Awkward Moment When Words Fail You.

Hope I made your day??? Rotflmao

I have 99 problems and cerebral palsy is one

My name is Maysoon Zayid and I am not drunk but the doctor who delivered me was. He cut my mom six different times in six different section suffocating and me in the process and as a result I have cerebral palsy which means I shake all the time. Its exhausting cos I'm like Shakira,Shakira meet Mohamed Ali.

Respect !!! Is it really reciprocal?

Respect is not always reciprocal! Yes, I say.it again, Respect is not always reciprocal! How can respect be reciprocated perfectly,when the world is selfish? Some people have applied The Golden Rule in their day- to-day dealings with their families, loved ones, friends, well-wishers and acquaintances, but oft these fellows treat them as piece of trash;an insignificant part of their lives. It makes one wonder if something is wrong with one or one is too forward in pleasing people. Some of us have learnt the
essences of life as God, love, respect, forgiveness, happiness and all good things that make life worth living but egocentric
individuals have made us wonder whether such essences are worth holding on to.
Most times, we feel that it is time to stop being heroes of peace [for our names most likely are not Gandhi or Mandela] and now
become villains to the courses we once championed. Imagine how man ruins his fellow man. How pathetic!
However, pausing for a while to look at the kind of life we want to plunge into, it makes us come back to our senses and realize that it is not worth it - being a villain of God, love, respect, forgiveness, happiness is drastic and makes us an enemy of all, both mortal and immortal. This realization makes us feel frustrated, for the good men we are does not pay us
and to be bad is certainly not right, and we cannot but let raindrops stream out of our eyes. How sad! But, on a closer look on the issue, I realize that there is no cause to be sad for the conclusion of the whole matter is thus: Follow peace with ALL men forgetting all wrongs done, overlooking all offences
because life is too short to form clouds for teardrops. Do good to all, spare no one until such a time when respect will be reciprocal (that will most probably not
happen here but in the world yonder)
Written by Gideon Chukwu

Beauty tips for men (2)

This style is one of my favourite!
POLISHED FADE :
This slick hairstyle is polished and devilishly handsome. The style. mostly comes from the cut and is easy to maintain at home.
How To Style:
1)Visit a good saloon
2)Apply a small amount of coconut butter to hair and scalp or any soft good cream.
3)Brush hair forward with a boar bristle brush.
Face Shape and Hair Density:
This style is perfect for any face shape and hair density. Round,squared,oblong name it.
You can make the top curly or wavy you know! For a statement

How to Really Lose a Guy in Ten Days

I know this brings back the memories of Kate Hudson and Matt Forever-Shirtless McConaughey. That was one movie I really loved but does it really take ten days to lose a lousy son of Adam? Let me present to you the best ways to accomplish this feat in 60 seconds.

1. EAT OLD-SCHOOL STYLE.
Eat with your mouth. Loud noises and grunts of enjoyment are all encouraged. Do not hesitate to
pick at that stubborn piece of meat stuck between your teeth with your fingers. Lick your lips after every bite. Gargle after every swallow.
Palm oil smears, etc, etc. You go, girl!!!

2. TELL LIES.
As in those bold-faced kind of lies. You see, men are so used to lying with stealth and crafty cunning that it completely unnerves them
to run into someoney who lies without tact.

3. TELL ALL.
You see, nothing intrigues us more than what we don'tknow. Why do you think we spend all ourtime taking things apart? Exercise
your right to free speech until you become extremely “un-mysterious” and boring.Does he really need to know what color your snot is when
you blow your nose? Yes, my friend, he does.

4. CRY.
Cry all the time. Cry even when there’s absolutely nothing to cry about. Just cry. Cry blood. This one
is very simple. There is just something about the tears of a woman that turns bodyguard
Samson to mai’guard Mukaila. Powerful stuff.

5. BE AVAILABLE.
The trick to being available is
to be there for him at every hour! He awakes you from a lusty dream at four in the morning, demanding breakfast to be  delivered to his
house which is fifteen miles away? You’ll be there. He needs his laundry done at six the next morning? You’ll be there. He needs you to wipe his ass after a particularly grueling battle with the toilet seat? You’ll be thereeeeee, won’t you? Stick to this and his “isn’t-she-so-sweet-selfless-and-
caring?” cliche. will be transformed to “but-really-what-kind-of-ode-is-this?” in no time.

6. KISS LIKE A WATERSPOUT.
Be a gushing fountain– be copious and overly generous in your offering of spittle. Deliver beyond your fair share. After all, the well
of saliva is always in abundance, it never runneth out.

Well, what if you have exhausted this very promising list of options? What if you have a Die- Hard Part XIII on your hands? You can choose to kiss and tell or cheat and flaunt.
I'm outta here.

Disclaimer; This article was written by kayode for favourmoyse blog and it a work of fantasy.We cannot
be held responsible for any adverse actions brought about by a faithful subscription to the ideals published in this article. Be wise

Tags; Favourmoyse,Kswaggs,BN,kate Hudson,Matt McConaughey.

Twitter handle :@dahliadona

DIY On Ankara Clutch

Hello people!!! I'm  sharing this with you my lovely readers .enjoy!!!

Things you need:
1. A perforator or any puncher 2.Ankara fabric (half a yard would do)
3. Aluminum chain or jewelry
4. Coral beads (the spiky ones)
5. Office pins
6.Glue (E6000 or UHU would do just fine)
7. Fabric stay
8.A pair of scissors.

Optional:
1. Tape measure
2.Embroidery yarn
3. Chalk

Process:
1. Spread open your clutch, position the fabric whatever way you want (here I chose to work with the diagonal shapes and positioned them evenly on both
sides.) Do same for sides of the clutch.

2. With a chalk or pen mark out the
edges of you clutch on the fabric.  

3. Cut out, but leave about an extra inch of fabric around the marking so you have something to fold later (you'll need that!)

4. Fold neatly along your markings and press with a hot iron to
hold in place, and with the same hot iron, press your fabric stay to the fabric to ensure thickness. (don't forget to cut out a hole for the clasp or you'll find that you wont be able to snap your clutch in place.) Do same for the sides
of the clutch.

5. Spread glue evenly across the surface of your clutch, and place you fabric over it, pressing gently.
Smoothen out the fabric so there are no folds glued in place.

6. Puncture holes on the flap to insert your jewelry into.

7. Sew in (with a needle and thread) your spikes – here i used coral beads to achieve a 'spiky' look because I wanted an overall african look. (optional – sew the clutch all round with a decorative, embroidered stitch.) You should have something like this:

Readers can write in to let me know
what they would like to see created and the most requests for a piece would be treated.

Beauty tips for men

Okay today I will be writing a post on how to look good as a man!
You don't need to apply blush or
mascara to look like a hunk! A simple hair cut can transform you from ordinary to a sexy CEO!
#mygoshblushes#
Even if you don't have the money now you can look it!!! Who knows it might bring opportunities your way! Nobody wanna work with dreads-beard guy,and most ladies don't dig them either.
So today's HAIR CUT is:
CLEAN AND SHORT
How To Style:
1)Go to a nice saloon with a good
barber and tell him the style.
2)Apply a scalp and hair cream or
spotting waves then brush hair with a boar bristle brush.

Face Shape and Hair Density:
This style is perfect for any face shape and hair density.
Product Recommendation:
Try using a small amount of coconut oil to moisturize both the hair and scalp and apply a nice perfume!
I will write on my favourite hair style tomorrow! Mehn that hair cut can make any guy look like an adonis!!

How i spent my life before l lived it.

It was spring but it was summer I wanted
The warm days, and the great outdoors.

It was summer,but it was fall I wanted
The colorful leaves and the cool dry air.

It was fall, but it was winter I wanted
The beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.

I was a child, but it was adulthood I wanted
The freedom and they respect.

I was 20, but it was 30 I wanted
To be mature and sophisticated.

I was middle-aged,but it was 20 I wanted
The youth and the free spirit.

I was retired,but it was middle- aged I wanted
The presence of mind without limitations.

My life was over
But I never got what I wanted.

Tags ; FMB, Jason Lehman.

twitter handle ;@dahliadona

Ehen...So?

If your pastor is the same age or younger than your husband yet you refer to him as ‘sir’ and
don’t use the same for your husband, something is wrong with you…
If you courtesy, as in kneel as a sign of respect for your pastor and don’t do the same for your husband, something is wrong with you…
If your husband tells you something and you ignore it till your pastor says the same thing,
something is wrong with you…
If you talk anyhow to your wife and give respect to your pastor,something is wrong with
you…
If you are a pastor, deacon or church worker and you prioritize church work over your household,
something is wrong with you…
If you would rather take money to the church than to show your responsibility at home,
something is wrong with you…
If you call someone who does not know your phone number, bb pin, home address or even just your first name, daddy, mummy or
spiritual daddy/mummy, hmm, something is wrong with you…
If you talk more about your pastor than about JESUS, something is wrong with you…
If you think it is all right for your pastor to be protected by security guards while no one protects you, something is wrong with you…
If you think something is wrong with me, you are right, what it is, is I am tired of seeing people act
like it’s ok to be gullible…culled.

Signed

June.

Tags; emmy collins, dacosta lawrence,june, FMB.

Guest bloggers/ writers needed

Favourmoyse blog requires guest bloggers/ writers. Are you a professional Writer or a wannabe?  Submit your articles via perculiarbrain@yahoo.com. Articles should be on fashion,lifestyle,health, relationship, family, humor et al except gossip.

Our team strives to be a source of inspiration and support to our readers. Thanks

Signed

Favourmoyse

Whispers of God

After the wind,came the earthquake followed by a fire but only in a still small voice did God speak to Elijah. Sometimes God does not reveal himself in mighty acts,but in simple everyday activities that we could easily take for granted.

So sometime ago I was feeling misunderstood and my hormones were all over the place plus I couldn't confide in anyone. I spoke words of faith and prayed, but the darkness lingered.On my way home one night I noticed the moon. I mean the full moon!!! it was so bright my path was illuminated I didn't even need a flashlight. At that moment I knew it was the Lord reminding me of his presence and nearness.

It was a very tangible demonstration of his love and I felt normal afterwards. The lord is always near us but sometimes we often miss it because we expect him to show up in great and mighty ways. It may be through something as common as the smile of a stranger or the laughter or spontaneous hug from your child.
It could even be you getting home just before the rain starts or receiving a call from a loved one.

Regardless of how small it is,don't take the everyday mundane for granted. Because somewhere in these insignificant things God may just be whispering "I love you and want you to know i'm always close by".

Happy Sunday.

Signed

June.

Tags ; sisterskeeper, june, FMB

5 Anti-dandruff Remedies.

Have you suffered from flaky, itchy scalp?Don´t worry, you are not alone and the best part is that there are many natural anti dandruff remedies that will help you to get rid of them once and for all. Sensitive, flaky scalp is one of the main causes of dandruff. Check out these 5 very interesting natural anti-dandruff remedies:
1. CHAMOMILE TEA RINSE
People with sensitive skin often suffer from dry, flaky scalp as well and since there is no yeast overgrowth or dermatitis you need to cure in this case, all you’ll
have to do is focus on moisturizing and soothing your poor scalp
with the anti-inflammatory and soothing effects of chamomile tea, apply after washing your hair, and
wash out with warm water.
2. APPLE CIDER VINEGAR AND HYDROGEN PEROXIDE
One of the best natural anti dandruff remedies ever, this is
because both vinegar and peroxide have anti-fungal and
anti-bacterial properties that deal with yeast overgrowth, which is one of the most frequent causes of
dandruff. Mix the peroxide solution (harmless 3% solution) with vinegar and clean, filtered water (1 part peroxide, 1 part
vinegar, 10 parts water), apply it on your scalp, and leave
it for 15 minutes before rinsing.
3. TEA TREE OIL
Tea tree oil helps control excess sebum and, when mixed with Aloe Vera oil in the 1:1 ratio, creates
one of the most potent natural anti dandruff remedies, try it yourself.
4. BAKING SODA
Wash your hair with baking soda,also known as bicarbonate, it is an alkaline solution which raises
the PH value of your scalp, making it less acidic and, therefore, not
the ideal place for yeast to thrive in.
5. ONIONS
There is one more thing yeast lovesjust as much as acidic places in your body – sugar! Including
onions into your diet might work wonders.

English names For Naija Dishes.

When i stumbled on some of these names few days ago, l had to look for others. All na packaging sha. So here are english names of naija dishes/ snacks.                              

1. Kuli kuli – Peanut bars
2. Donkuwa/ Robo Alata – Hot Charcolit nuts
3. Kilichi – Beef Crackers
4. Dundun/fried yam – Yamarita
5. Fried Potato – Potarita
6. Pako (Chewing stick) – Dental Sticks
7. Boli – Barbecue Plantain
8. Roasted corn – Corn Aflame
9. Eko/Agidi – Corn Jellos
10. Moin moin – Bean pie
11. Isi ewu – Goat-hedo lickins’
12. Garri – Grain o’ fibres
13. Bokoto/ Nkwobi – Hoof salad
14. Ogi/Akamu – Corn Caramel
15. Kpof kpof – Energy Buns
16. Chin chin – Dough Rocks
17. Zobo – Juice Rosa Afrik
18. Kunnu – Grain Alive
19. Bread and Akara – Bean cake Burger
20. Ofada rice – Unpolished Rice for
Vegetarians
21. Adalu(corn & beans) – Lentils & Grain
Salad
22. Ifokore (yam porrige) – Continental Yam
Casserole
23. Agbalumo – Wild Robust Cherry.
Now you know, knowledge is power. Thank me later.

Tags;FMB,nana kings,gaby

twitter handle ;@dahliadona

Homemade Cookies

FRESHLY MADE HOME COOKIES
RECIPES
FLOUR - 500g
SUGAR - 200g
BUTTER - 250g
FLAVOUR
POWDERED MILK (OPTIONAL)
Little Water
PROCEDURE
1. Put all the dry ingredients in a bowl i.e. the flour, sugar and powdered milk
2. Add butter and use finger tips to rub-in the butter until the mixture looks like crumbs
3. Add flavour of your choice; you could try making use of Rayner's Butter Scotch. lt tastes good in cookies.
3. Add water but you have to watch out for the water as the water must not be too much; the mixture should be like the one you get while making a meatpie.
4. Spread out on a table and roll out with a rolling pin
5. when you get an equal diameter and.thickness, place the cookies cutter and cut out (there are actually bigger cutter)
6. Oil the oven tray
7. Place the already cut out cookies inside the tray
8. Put in the oven
9. Now depending on the oven; can bake for like 40-45mins at about 120degree celsius.

Tags ;FMB,Eya .A.,Aj

Poker face (2)

Yesterday we wrote the first article on deception. Here is the concluding part.
Lies spotting; there are two patterns of deception .
1. Verbal Dodging - people who are over determined in their denial will result to formal language. Liars will unconsciously distinct themselves from their subjects using language as a tool.

2. Body Language Slip
No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent he chatters with his fingertips. We think liars won't look at us in the eyes but guess what they look you in the eyes too much just to compensate for that myth. We think warmth and smile conveys honesty but you should know that a real smile reaches the eyes while a fake smile doesn't.

Finding hotspots
when having a conversation with someone you think is deceptive, an honest person is going to be co-operative,help in getting the truth,willing and even helps in brainstorming; whereas a deceptive person would be withdrawn,look down,jerky,pepper their stories with too much details.

We know liars shift their blink raid,points their feets towards an exit, alter their vocal tone often making it much lower. Here's the deal, these behaviours are just behaviours they are not proof of deception. But when you see clusters of them that's the signal.  look,listen,probe, ask some hard questions,get out of the comfortable mood of knowing, walk into curiosity mood.Don't be too aggressive it doesn't work.
Note that over sharing is not honesty. When you combine the science of recognizing deception into the art of looking, probing and listening.  You exempt yourself from corraborating a lie.You start up the part of being explicit. You say to everyone around you " hey!!! my world, our world?  is going to be an honest one" and the truth is marginalised. When you do that the ground around you starts to shift a little bit and that is the truth.

Tags; TED,FMB,Pamela Mayer.

twitter handle ;@ dahliadona

Poker Face (1)

Olivia Pope is regarded the best in her field. She and her team are called gladiators in suit. She says her gut is never wrong hence its easy for her to tell when a client is lying. When I first saw its movie trailer 'scandal' coupled with the fact that it was directed by Shonda Rhimes,I just had to see the movie.

Believe it or not you are a liar. We are going to talk about lie spotting to truth seeking and ultimately trust building.

Truth 1; Lying is a co-operative act; a lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance, its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe it. l know it may sound as tough love but at some point if you got lied to its because you agreed to. Not all lies are harmful. Sometimes we are willing participants in deception for the sake of social dignity but there are times when we are unwilling participants and that could have dramatic consequences.
2011 saw 997 billion dollars in corporate fraud alone in the united states.That's 7% of revenue. Lies could undermine our security in a country.

According to british authority Henry. O. a con man could undermine the entire banking industry in the whole western world. During an interview he said " everyone is willing to give you something for whatever there are hungry for". We all kind of hate to admit it; we wish we were better husbands, wives,parents, colleaques...lying is an attempt to bridge that gap, to connect our wishes and fantasies to whom we wish we were, how we wish we could be to what we are really like.

On a given day, you may be lied to 10-200 times. In  another study,strangers lie 3 times within the first ten minutes of meeting each other, extroverts lie more than introverts, men lie 8times more about themselves,women lie more to protect other people and couples lie in one out of every ten interactions.

Truth 2; We are against lying...but covertly for it. Koko the gorilla was taught sign language as a means of communication. koko once blamed her pet kitten for ripping a sink out of the wall.  We are wired to be leaders of the pack. It starts really early, how early?  As babies we fake a cry,pause, wait to see who's coming and then go right back to crying. 1 year olds learn concealment,2 year-olds bluffs, 5 year-olds lie outright and manipulate their flaterry, 9 year olds? masters of the cover up. By the time you are in college you lie to your mom in one of every five interactions. And by the time we enter the work world and are bread winners we enter into a world that is filled with spam,digital friends inshort a deception epidemic. One author refers to it as a post truth society.  So what do you do?

Tomorrow we will talk about  lie spotting . Stay connected .

Tags; TED,Pamela Mayer,FMB

twitter handle ; @dahliadona

Happy New Dawn

Yes!!! we made it. Its 2014 our year of visible glory. So with all the Roses's perfume and with all the lights in the world and with all the children's smiless..we wish that all your dreams come true. Like birds, let us leave behind what we didn't need to carry, grudges, sadness, pain,fear and regrets. Life is beautiful.  Enjoy it.

From all of us @ FMB we say ;
Happy 2014.

Thanks to everyone for your support ; Nanya Konwea, Chukwuneke ,belvi, my ardent readers.et al. God bless you big.